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Daily Humor for Saturday, September 4th
Rehab Center Vegas Arrests Heavy Drinkers

Lindsay Lohan's father, Michael Lohan, told Radar Online that he's moving to California to open a drug and alcohol rehab center.

I guess he's serious about wanting to spend more time with his family.

 - Jay Leno

Paris Hilton was arrested with cocaine in her purse in Las Vegas. Paris said she thought the cocaine was chewing gum.

Her boyfriend was arrested for DWI, driving with an idiot.

- David Letterman

According to a new health study, heavy drinkers live longer than non-drinkers.

Finally, some good news for David Hasselhoff.

 - Jay Leno

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